passion tea lemonade moments...

So after a long afternoon of work, I met up with Joanna and we went rollerblading/biking. It was a good outlet for the lingering energy I had. I like this routine we've developed and hope that we can maintain it as long as the weather holds out. Being allergic to the cold is severely limiting when you happen to live in Canada.

I met up with Kandi and we ended up at Starbucks; she had a deep craving for the passion tea lemonade. What followed was a deep, profound, and interesting discussion.

Our self-perception is shaped by how others view us; this, I do know. My own self-perception is further solidified by how my friends see me. Even still, I think they often see me as a better person than I really am.

I know I am incredibly self-reliant but this is neither a virtue nor a fault. I have been shaped by the circumstances of my life and had no choice but to learn from a very early age to take care of myself. I'm not saddened or upset by this; it's all I've ever really known. I don't know what it's like to have someone take care of me; that rarely happens. I am my own limit. I create the obstacles in my path and therefore I am responsible for removing them.

This self-deprecation is probably why I don't view my life as tragic or awful; it simply is. These are the circumstances I was given and the cards that I was dealt. It is up to me to create the life I want.

rainy days and chocolates

So yesterday I went on a hunt for chocolate and hit up the good old Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. Loaded up on some dark chocolate goodness which should last me a few weeks, if not months.

It helped since I've been craving dark chocolate lately. One or two bites is generally good enough to satisfy the sugar craving.

I'm watching my weight these days. Sad as it is, I'm starting to believe that I've come to that age where enough is enough. If I continue down this road, my waistline is going to balloon like mad and there won't be anything I could really do to mitigate it.

I don't ever plan to settle down, raise babies, and have that happily ever after fairytale ending. I've done a lot of soul-searching in the past two years and slowly, that dream has died. It's a wistful thought in the back of my mind but in all honesty, I don't really see that picture perfect life for myself. You know, it's okay if life doesn't turn out the way society thinks it's supposed to.

Don't get me wrong, I do have those moments where I think it would be nice to have someone to come home to. But that's not how I'm going to live my life. I'm not going to look for a future husband.

After all, I really don't think he exists out there.

Update

Okay, it has clearly been a few years since I've updated this thing.

A few quick updated facts about my current life:

I am single and have been for quite a while
I am currently back living with mom (although really, I'm paying all the bills so what gives?)
I am currently working for the public sector although my contract is about to end

I still don't know what to do with my life

I'm back and making my daily musings. Hopefully this will help me jump-start some inspiration.