i feel like i've been up and down a rollercoaster since the first date. it sucks because i went from sort of interested to completely spellbound.
i'm in the process of trying to get over it all. this level of fascination over one person is not healthy. at least, i don't think it's healthy for me. i don't like it and i will get over it.
so i saw him yesterday, briefly. we didn't really talk. i guess my good intentions just flew out the window, much like my self-control. it happens, i suppose.
my heart hurts because she's in pain. i love my friends, i really do and when they're hurting it hurts me too. i wish there was some way to make it all better but short of commiting homocide, there's nothing i can do. i want her to be okay again.
i'm restless these days. trying to fill my time with amusement and distractions. it's a lovely time of year to pick up something new.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
he's just not that into you
so i read the book for some insight. i started dating again a little while back. July maybe? i have no idea. i was bored and it seemed to relieve the monotone that is life at the moment. well, boy did things change..
so i met a few people, talked, went out, had drinks, etc. for the most part, it was fun and entertaining. at one point i was talking to so many guys, i lost count of who was who. then, a random message that pricked my curiosity. i replied, he replied back and the next thing i knew, i was on another date.
one date led to more talking and the next thing i knew, we were on another date. it's been more than a month and i'm still not sure. is he into me? i have no idea.
so reading the book, i figured out that i was already doing what greg had advised. i guess my self-preservation instincts are pretty refined. but with him, i'm so caught up. trying to play it cool so did not work but neither did doing the girly thing. that is so not me. but the book did help clarify something: my instincts are on the ball and really, I AM worth the effort. so he'll either shape up and make some real effort or we're done.
right now, i'm so not liking the feeling. you know the one i'm talking about. butterflies launching a systemic attack in your tummy. the elation and uplift when he calls or says something sweet. i hate that feeling. i don't want it unless things are clear. i want to know that the feelings are warranted, that he's really into me. otherwise, they're just false hope.
so i met a few people, talked, went out, had drinks, etc. for the most part, it was fun and entertaining. at one point i was talking to so many guys, i lost count of who was who. then, a random message that pricked my curiosity. i replied, he replied back and the next thing i knew, i was on another date.
one date led to more talking and the next thing i knew, we were on another date. it's been more than a month and i'm still not sure. is he into me? i have no idea.
so reading the book, i figured out that i was already doing what greg had advised. i guess my self-preservation instincts are pretty refined. but with him, i'm so caught up. trying to play it cool so did not work but neither did doing the girly thing. that is so not me. but the book did help clarify something: my instincts are on the ball and really, I AM worth the effort. so he'll either shape up and make some real effort or we're done.
right now, i'm so not liking the feeling. you know the one i'm talking about. butterflies launching a systemic attack in your tummy. the elation and uplift when he calls or says something sweet. i hate that feeling. i don't want it unless things are clear. i want to know that the feelings are warranted, that he's really into me. otherwise, they're just false hope.
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