and so it begins...

I had my first class of the semester today. Ethnic conflict and conflict resolution. How nice. My academic career is full of such violence. It looks to be an interesting course and the professor appears to be pretty nice and laid back. The requirements are decent, nothing horrendously outlandish or really difficult. It's funny that there are only five of us in the course and all women.

I found myself thinking about how much I had grown up. Sitting there in a small room around a table with four other women and the professor, we spoke and shared our own views and opinions, academic and otherwise. When the professor left, we negotiated our presentation topics and dates, thereby laying out the schedule for the semester. We even talked about negotiating a free week so we could all have a break from the demands of the class, and a later submission deadline for our paper. This kind of thing would not have been possible when I was younger. The competitive nature of students and conflicting self-interests would not have allowed it. I think it's finally hitting me, this reality of becoming a grown-up.

I still feel like a thirteen year old navigating through a world of adults and grown-ups. Without the angst and insecurities, of course. I have managed to develop a certain amount of self-confidence over the years. I'll never be perfect but that's okay. I'm not all that smart or pretty or charismatic. And I no longer want to be. I'm content with who I am and I'm having fun rediscovering all of my potential. I guess that's all that matters at the end of the day.