burying the past.

Earlier tonight, I got together with my ex-boyfriend for some coffee and conversation. We often get together every once in a while to talk and update each other on our lives. We have been broken up for about 5 months now and we've maintained contact. Not regular contact but contact nonetheless. I look back at the 3 years that we were together and I have little regret. I lived, I loved, and I learned a lot about myself and about what I want or don't want. He will always be a good memory in my heart but he will never again be my heart.

Throughout the night, one thing really struck me about the two of us. Although we failed to make it work, we're still making the same mistake that led to our breakup in the first place. We grew apart and became different people with different wants and needs. I wanted and needed things that he could not provide and I was definitely not the person that he wanted or needed. I loved who he was but he's no longer that person and I am no longer the person that he loved. And that's okay. There's something bittersweet about realizing that you've grown beyond a person and beyond who you once were. I loved him once but I will never be in love with him again.

I have loved and loved well, and I have experienced heartbreak. Yet, at the end of the day I am ready to love again, even knowing that heartache is a real possibility. It would be cowardly of me to give up because of fear, but what do I really have to fear? The journey to love means that I am able to discover and learn about the heart and soul of another. That knowledge is priceless and worth everything when it means that I can share such a wonderous miracle with another person.